Poop Pal Text

I love it when people text me about poop. I really do.

"I have asked the husband to tell his parents not to force me to eat today! The last thing I need tomorrow with 8 hours of traveling on the plane is to need to take a shit in a tiny airplane potty with a big heavy toddler on my lap!"

Fail!

Credit by: Fail Blog (Funny ish!)

Poop Muffins

I find it funny that multiply people who attend my gym wrote to ask me if I gave the gym folk this recipe. 

Hee hee...

Poo-Pourri

Clever Name.Clever Product

Quote of the Day

May your life be like toilet paper...Long and useful. ~Who knows

Koongsy

Let it Flow

Dear Potty,

Yesterday I attended an event for Pinterest. These cool chicks we met asked what kind of blog I wrote. A smirk escaped as I started explaining to them how the Potty Diary came to be. You'd think girls would squirm and find away to get a way from the weird girl with the poop issues, but I find ladies love the loo!

They started talking to me about their own corporate job bathrooms and how the people who frequented them were weirdos with weird tee tee ticks too.

Everyone should feel comfortable talking about the potty. That's how I feel. One day the world shall be potty mouth open and my butt shall sing with joy.

?!

Is that a frog in your pants or are you just gassy to see me?!

#68

Dear Potty,

I just farted in front of my nemesis' cubicle at work. I feel vindicated! Totally recommend doing that if you're having issues with someone. It's not like they can go to HR or anything...

#67

Dear Potty,

I was just in the bathroom and heard a woman making pooping sounds...quite different from the garden  variety water runny stuff.  It sounded like she was popping bubble wrap. You know, the stuff that comes in a shipment...well she got a shipment of last night's dinner LOL!

Baby Poop

Ahhh...the joy of a new baby. All that glorious poop to discover.

#66

Dear Potty,

Wouldn't it be great if a woman walked into a public bathroom to change her tampon, sat down and then said, "Blood shall spill!"?

Or she sat down to pee and sang, "Let my peepee gooooooooo"?

I think if that were to happen I'd shat my pants.

Potty Putty

Yeeep, I really did receive this as a gift and yes, I am playing with that ish at work. Talk about a stress reliever! Thank you Diva Dara for this lovely gift.

Watch as I play.

Easter

Easter time means Easter eggs. Easter eggs mean Easter egg eating. Easter egg eating equals Easter egg farts that will have one exclaiming, "The stink has risen!"

Smooth Operator

Have you ever had one of those joyful poos where you're not even really pushing...No effort at all and then you look down and see a beast chillin in the pool? I swear it's like little slut puppy poops. (No effort enjoyment...with just a tiny bit of messy drama at the end.)

Minor Dilemma

Dear Potty,

The toilet at work has some serious blowback. Flush it & it sprinkles little drops of toilet water. I look like R.Kelly just met my pant leg.

Sincerely,

Mr. Teach

Mad Scientist

Someone should really come up with a machine that determines what you ate to make your toots smell the way they do. Whatever I ate...OMG.

Roundabout Poo

Dear Potty,

When I was younger I would sneak my boyfriend in my room at night. He would wake up early and leave before my parents woke up. One night I woke up and noticed my boyfriend climbing out of my window. I got up and watched him walk on the side of my house and disappear. 10 minute later he returned. That next day I went to the side of the house where he had disappeared to see what he had been doing and that's when I saw it...

Boxers and POO! Yes, he had taken a dump on the side of my house and then whiped his arse with his boxers! I had to remove the stinky evidence from the scene of the crime so that my parents wouldn't find out. (It would have been bad if he was caught sleeping in my room, but it would have been a GAZILLION times worse if they found out I was dating a weird poo dumper. No pun intended.)

I spoke to my boyfriend that evening and asked him if he had really been shatting on the side of my house. He looked at me like I was crazy and said yah like it was nothing. And no, I did not break up with him.

Sincerely,

Cousin

Thank You!!!

I just wanted to say thank you to all the folks who have sent in pictures and stories for me to share with the world. You make my little shatty life shine.

Tootles!

The Potty Princess

Mimicry

Dear Potty,

My child just approached me and said, "Look Mom! My poo looks like a chili pepper!"