Why?

Happy Valentines Day!

With love,

The Potty Princess

Hellooooo!

Still here...Still waiting for some innocent woman to head into the potty room and give me some goodie good ish to write about...mwahahahaaaa

Little Love Notes...

Potty Art

♥

#70

Dear Potty,

I sat in the bathroom...ploppin away while playing on my iPhone. As I was leaving, a coworker sweetly yelled from her stall, "Bye Tishyyyyyy..." like she was calling me out. I got her though! I yelled back, "Bye Weezie! Hope you enjoyed my ploppy plops!"

I could hear multiple women laughing as the door swung shut. BooYaaaaaa haters!

#69

Dear Potty,

Why is it that the public bathrooms in airports are so darn fast?! I swear I have to basically leap with cheetah speed to avoid the poop/pee spray that accompanies an automatic flush and that's just not cool, man...not cool.

White Flag

I know that when people put up t.p. in the cracks of a stall, they want privacy. They want privacy because they're more likely than not giving birth to a stinky #2 baby. What they don't realize is you've just raised the white flag of shame. You have alerted everyone in the bathroom to pay attention to your butt. Literally.

When you walk out people will stare and wonder what in the world you could have been doing that demanded that kind of privacy.

You nasty, self-conscious pooh-hider.

Get in There!

Dear Potty,

I just heard a woman in the bathroom stall saying, "Get in there." I think she was talking to her tampon. :-(

Butt Band

Somehow I must have swallowed both a flute and a tuba, because my butt was seriously creating some symphonies up in the bafroom today!

Smooth Operator

Have you ever had one of those joyful poos where you're not even really pushing...No effort at all and then you look down and see a beast chillin in the pool? I swear it's like little slut puppy poops. (No effort enjoyment...with just a tiny bit of messy drama at the end.)

Employee of the Month

Minor Dilemma

Dear Potty,

The toilet at work has some serious blowback. Flush it & it sprinkles little drops of toilet water. I look like R.Kelly just met my pant leg.

Sincerely,

Mr. Teach

Pretty Girl and Her Pretty Terrible Stench

Dear Potty,

So...I have had the bubble guts all day and after a couple hours of crossing my legs to hold in the poots I decided it was finally time to give birth.  Initially, I just went into my work floor's bathroom thinking it would be quick and painless.  After a few nastay stanky poots I figured this called for a visit to a different floor.  -1 is the place I go because my nastay poos can be anonymous, where I can just make all the noises I want, and no one will be able to link the stench to me.  So I hiked up my skirt, held my gut and hoped I didn't let out anymore poots on my way down to my safe haven.  When I got there, I quickly scanned the stalls for feet, I was safe.  I started to let out the most rank poots and green little baby poos compliments of my kale smoothie from earlier.  After about ten minutes of poo heaven I felt like 5 pounds lighter, no more baby belly.  I immediately sent the Poo Princess an email and told her of my adventures.  She was pleased.

(And I am!)

Send more stories! :)

Poop Whisperer

Dear Potty,

I was plopping away in the work bathroom when this woman who was handling her own silent biz decided not to be so much silent anymore.

She started whispering to her poop! I have experienced a poop whisperer and I'm surprised to say it stopped me in my pushing tracks...a first, I'd say!

Target, Target, Target...

You got some splainin' to do, Target!!!

Looks like someone missed out on that poop stage Freud was talking about...

Fail!

Trees are Crying

Dear Potty #3:

Ole girl I know blows OUT her butt in the bathroom and then comes out smiling...No shame in her game. That's gangser.

Dear Potty #2

Gal sounded like she was launching underwater rockets! Her toots were hella juicy and were echoing at the same time. I laughed so hard I tooted lol. she hurriedly wiped and ran.