Easter

Easter time means Easter eggs. Easter eggs mean Easter egg eating. Easter egg eating equals Easter egg farts that will have one exclaiming, "The stink has risen!"

Get in There!

Dear Potty,

I just heard a woman in the bathroom stall saying, "Get in there." I think she was talking to her tampon. :-(

Some Foods Just Scream Potty

The Source

Bread makes me gassy. That is all.

Heavenly Underwear

...And no I'm not talking about Jesus panties. I'm talking about panties that keep the poots at bay. Glorious invention!

Super Panties!

Butt Band

Somehow I must have swallowed both a flute and a tuba, because my butt was seriously creating some symphonies up in the bafroom today!

Thank you 30 Rock!

Smooth Operator

Have you ever had one of those joyful poos where you're not even really pushing...No effort at all and then you look down and see a beast chillin in the pool? I swear it's like little slut puppy poops. (No effort enjoyment...with just a tiny bit of messy drama at the end.)

Brushing Teeth in Company Bathroom: Gross?

Feel bad that I'm pooping while someone's brushing their teeth in the company bathroom but...When in Rome.

;)

Employee of the Month

Minor Dilemma

Dear Potty,

The toilet at work has some serious blowback. Flush it & it sprinkles little drops of toilet water. I look like R.Kelly just met my pant leg.

Sincerely,

Mr. Teach

Mad Scientist

Someone should really come up with a machine that determines what you ate to make your toots smell the way they do. Whatever I ate...OMG.

Roundabout Poo

Dear Potty,

When I was younger I would sneak my boyfriend in my room at night. He would wake up early and leave before my parents woke up. One night I woke up and noticed my boyfriend climbing out of my window. I got up and watched him walk on the side of my house and disappear. 10 minute later he returned. That next day I went to the side of the house where he had disappeared to see what he had been doing and that's when I saw it...

Boxers and POO! Yes, he had taken a dump on the side of my house and then whiped his arse with his boxers! I had to remove the stinky evidence from the scene of the crime so that my parents wouldn't find out. (It would have been bad if he was caught sleeping in my room, but it would have been a GAZILLION times worse if they found out I was dating a weird poo dumper. No pun intended.)

I spoke to my boyfriend that evening and asked him if he had really been shatting on the side of my house. He looked at me like I was crazy and said yah like it was nothing. And no, I did not break up with him.

Sincerely,

Cousin

Thank You!!!

I just wanted to say thank you to all the folks who have sent in pictures and stories for me to share with the world. You make my little shatty life shine.

Tootles!

The Potty Princess

Butt Pirate

Argghhh, I’m a pirate

I wear a patch on my butt

To keep out fudgelings

Ever heard of a fudgeling? Yeah, me either but it sounded like something that belonged in that particular haiku.

Mimicry

Dear Potty,

My child just approached me and said, "Look Mom! My poo looks like a chili pepper!"

The Potty Pull

Dear Potty, 

Today my coffee kicked in pretty urgently so I got to the bathroom, handled my business. I was happy with the body cleanse that ensued, but then it happened...The potty kept pulling my butt back for more action. I ended up being in there for AT LEAST 20 minutes. Potty pulls are the worst because you think you're done, then you stand up and WAM! Intense serious poot pangs hit and you feel like your world as you know it is ending.